Year: 1987. Q: Why should you never trust atoms? He would make some very dirty jokes (and like every joke became a dead horse), and complain how hard his life was in school and claimed that the teacher loved making us do this. Honestly, I felt bad for the bitter old man, because after a botched surgery he was constantly in pain. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. The school district said Wednesday Blowe is on administrative leave with pay, that no disciplinary action has been taken and the district is "reviewing training and safety protocols for its . Staff and students said the student, 16-year-old Malachi McFadden, had his head down and didn't see the flame coming. Why did the scientist want carbon, Arsenic, and Hydrogen? So an atom walks into a bar with a gun and the bartender says "Who are you and what do you want?" ", So one guy says to another 'Wanna hear a potassium joke?' A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. Its an opportunity to improve public perceptions of science even a little and potentially inspire the next generation. A neutron walks into a bar. Florence Flask was preparing to attend the opera. Are you feeling under the weather today? Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint. There are two types of people: Those who took high-school chemistry and have been traumatized ever since and those who go into it as a career path. Lose an electron? He suffered third-degree burns on his face, neck and torso and was hospitalized after the botched "burning money demonstration," which happened at Redan High School, just outside Atlanta, on the second day of his junior year, his lawyers said. A: A lab. The 90+ Best Chemistry Jokes A big list of chemistry jokes! Q: What weapon can you make from the chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?A: KNiFe. Sodium Bromate Joke: Want some sodium bromate? A student trying to make light of a bad situation. Quite a few years ago, the news was ablaze with reports of an asteroid that was going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. Has a lot of her belongings there, showers, sleeps there, etc..". Chemistry Jokes, Puns, and Riddles. Creator Vince Gilligan, who described himself as a science groupie, admitted that he and his writersunable to afford a chemistry adviserhad resorted to using the Internet and Wikipedia for research. Contests & Rules | Some images copyright AP, Clipart.com and he died. Teacher: Can you name the three kinds of blood vessels?Student: Yes. } Without chemistry theres no Walter White, no Breaking Bad. A: Periodically. My chemistry teacher offered me a Pb and J sandwhich. A one. You're gonna get fat!" Beryl and Lium. OMg!! So how does a real chemist feel about seeing a (fictional) member of her trade going rogue? The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? Know any good jokes about sodium? Because you're pretty CuTe! Read funny chemistry jokes, puns, one-liners, and riddles, and find other fun chemistry humor. Copyright 2022 - Science-Atlas.com. Get it? Want me to tell a potassium joke? Proton 1: Hey, that man just got a free drink! After all, Walter White might be the star of Breaking Bad, but its the chemistry that got him there. | A: Si, Q.Why do chemists call Helium, Curium and Barium, phenetical elements? / CBS/AP. Barium! Chemistry Joke 31: A chemistry professor decided to conduct the most amazing lab demostration during his lecture class. Teacher: What did you find interesting about an octopus?Student: They have 8 testicles. Two. The high school teacher, Bridgette Blowe, "froze in pure shock" when it grew out of control, spread across the desk and set her student in the front row on fire, according to students and staff, CBS Atlanta affiliate WGCL-TV reports. Beryl. Because it's in the ground state. Because it was, What did one charged atom say to the other? Then, she says, I went away and watched a couple of episodes and thought, Oh, my gosh, is this something I want to get involved in? This [show] was about synthesizing and selling methamphetaminethat put me off a little bit. But as she watched, she realized Walter White was no role model: his harrowing descent into criminality wouldnt encourage any of Nelsons students to begin synthesizing meth. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything! " The other guy says "I would like some H 2 O too ( H2O2 )." Sooo I was gonna tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogenbut NaH. Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulg?A: If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is. . One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." Q: When do elements act silly? All rights reserved. We aren't quite in our element here. . What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak? He just couldn't put it down. Dating apostrophes won't get you anywhere. Q: How can chemistry students stay positive? Keep the nerdiness going with some more of our favorite science jokes. H2O2is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, which you cant drink at a bar without grievous consequence. A: Laboratory Retrievers. Cool GuyI know a guy who cooled himself to -273. What is the element's favorite carnival ride? Argon walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve nobles gasses here." I nailed it. Two chemists go into a restaurant. The element of surprise. He picked up his beaker before it was cool. Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium? Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field on a fine summer day. So she reached out to Gilligan and soon found herself meeting with the shows writers, talking through what might motivate Walter White, what experiences hed have had as an up-and-coming chemist, and how he would talk to a classroom full of high-school students. See more science lolcats. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? You have so much potential!" Score: 52. What should do you do with a dead Chemist? You barium. A: Barium. Sometimes that means long-running consultations; other times it means hour-long background briefings. Here are some more hilariousdog puns for the canine lover. Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Argon walks into a bar. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them. Never lick the spoon! A: He He. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe. The news of his facial hair nearly out-shined his big night. Silicon, H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? The captions are written in kitty pidgin. A: Thorium. Eventually she asked, "But if the Moon was destroyed, how would we have nighttime?" Q: Why did the acid lift weights at the gym? . Bar magnets have poor homogeneity. This dental device was sold to fix patients' jaws. } Very quickly, she realized the flaw in her thinking and yelled out, "Just kidding!". Polar Bond. Teacher of the Month; . Definition and Examples, Ph.D., Biomedical Sciences, University of Tennessee at Knoxville, B.A., Physics and Mathematics, Hastings College. Q: What are Iron Man and Silver Surfer called when they team up? Im traveling light. You wanna hear a joke about potassium? Molecules that are polar have nothing to do with the Arctic. Boy, she cannot put that book down. Perhaps one about sodium? Q: Why does helium laugh so much? A: HeHe. Science Journalist. He got Avogadro's number! ", A neutron walks into a bar and says "How much for a beer?" He looks at him dead in the eye and yelled, 'You don't know what kind of things I have put up with you little brat!' . Q: Why was the baseball player banned from Chemistry class? 6) Mobile Ohm7) Ohm-less8) Ohm on the Range9) Ohm alone. NO You wanna hear a joke about tungsten? And forgive us if some of these miss the mark. A: Um. I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically. to which the atom replies "The name's Bond. The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it? Matthew Cohen/rd.com Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? I got my, Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? Abbys Joke: What Happens When You Tell a Bad Chemistry Joke? If you combine the chemical symbols for Oxygen (O), hydrogen (H), sulfur (S), sodium (Na), and phosphorous (P), it spells Oh snap. Here are some more of our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars. The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive.". Q: What do you call an acid with a bad attitude? She first encountered Breaking Bad through the American Chemistry Societys magazine, which published an interview with the cast. What did one charged atom say to the other? What do you say when: oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar? The captions are written in kitty pidgin. Chemistry jokes are funny. They were standing in their yards. Question at interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate), Answer: double time. Walter White has become a bad man. Breaking up is hard to do. This periodic table shows how we use every element in our lives. A wrestler holding down an opponent may have a NEON him. A collection of quotations and jokes, many of which are science-related. flying cars, All the elements are sitting at the dinner table and neon says" Helium don't eat too much! 90 of them, in fact! A good character deserves a powerful name. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); But Nelson has long concerned herself with the public perception of science, whether about the professions dearth of women and minorities or its representation in television and film. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Joe Wilson says: "U Li!! Answer: Na, What element did the dinosaurs say killed them? If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. . This one riffs off of the alternate meanings of a major concept from each science: the periodic table and potential energy. Those are deer tracks, the first blonde stated. This one mixes chemistry jokes with good ol food puns. One. I'm not one of those people. It is one of the top "memes" on the Internet. One atom says to the other, "Hey! Proton 2: Are you sure? Carbon was saying to oxygen hey did you hear about the new phone company O2? Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Chemistry Jokes, Puns, and Riddles." What will happen if you get into water and can't zwim? Helium walks into a bar. In the last round, he got tied with another contestant for the first place. That's the goal of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science. Another chemical symbol-based chemistry joke: cobalt (Co), radon (Rn), and yttrium (Yyes, its a real element). Let's meet at the endpoint. What is the most important chemistry rule? If you find yourself in the second group, you're probably looking for ways to lighten your load. What sharp object do you get when you combine potassium, nickel, and iron? Because I see, We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones. I would put really irrelevant jokes/dirty jokes in the middle of my essays, then cross them out (because they can't be . but I realized I wasnt quite in my element. HAHAHAHA. Theres no real scientific law called Coles Law. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); Na, im fine, I don't want to tell jokes in class because I might get NO REACTION, What do tomb robbers do to pyramids? (Ba-dum, Tss!) Are you a mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and Nitrogen cause you are fine. Eventually, one of my students asked about what a large asteroid impact would do to our Moon. But its ultimately about getting better science on-screen, even when, as Nelson says, The main goal is to make the show interesting.. K ? What do you call iron blowing in the breeze? If "Fe" is Iron, then does that mean that a Female is Iron Man? Q: Why did Kepler get fired from his janitor position?A: He only swept out the same area. Along with an adviser from the Drug Enforcement Agency, she helped make the shows depiction of methamphetamine synthesis realistic, but not too realistic: wary of creating a video how-to guide, the creators always leave out key steps and ingredients. All Rights Reserved. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. 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By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. McFadden told The Associated Press in a September interview that his hands still hurt constantly and he misses playing baritone saxophone in the band along with playing football and basketball. Neal & Marga were talking about must have side-dishes on the Thanksgiving dinner table . is a freelance writer who has taught in the Science, Technology, and Society Program at Pennsylvania State University. https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-jokes-puns-and-riddles-606027 (accessed March 1, 2023). If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! Because wherever they go, there's, What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer, educator, and consultant. Q: If H2O is the formula for ice, what is the formula for ice? A Collection of Chemistry Jokes. They wanted to get the science right, though, and welcomed any help. It has been discovered that money consists of a yet-to-be- indentified superheavy element. Neutron ", Boger called Blowe a good teacher who "made an awful mistake.". everyone screamed. A: Because it was polar. Q: Since H2O is the formula for water, what would the formula for ice be? How often should you tell chemistry jokes? What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with ironatoms? These jokes are gold, so read 'em!" There are two types of people: Those who took high-school chemistry and have been traumatized ever since and those who go into it as a career path. . Q: What kind of dog did the chemistry teacher have? Lolcats are pictures of cats with funny captions. The other asks, "Are you sure?" Third student, electrical engineering student, says No, there. Her husband replied, "Relax dear. These are the crazy, often funny things that happen when scientists experiment on themselves. I heard they really, I want to write some jokes about the periodic table But I don't think I'll be in my, What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. SiYou wanna hear a joke about nitrogen and oxygen? Q: What kind of dog did the chemistry teacher have? Na BrO! I would tell you a good element joke, but they ARGON!!! Video advice: When the math teacher ask the class this question . In this particular class, the flame didn't burn out completely, Blowe wrote, "so I attempted to extinguish the flame with water, but I reached for the alcohol instead, by mistake.". His students, he thought, weren't performing well academically and they were being disruptive, rude and dishonest. I had a female Physics teacher in my school. Q: What is the only known thing to travel faster than the speed of light?A: A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. A: The teacher told him to fe-breeze it. A: They bonded well from the minute they met. 9) Ohm alone. A: To become a buffer solution. You wanna hear a joke about sodium? Poor Willie worked in chem lab. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O ." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies. Here is a collection of reader-submitted chemistry jokes and puns. Employee: For you, no charge! Not only are these chemistry jokes funny, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages. One guy says "I would like some H2O. Now I'm sure most of you teachers have heard the "this teacher doesn't teach and he's the reason I'm doing bad!" excuse from failing students, and are absolutely sick of it. Of course, she cant yet show empirical evidence that her outreach has had an effectbut on down the future we might see some impact. Her efforts have affected at least one person: a caller to NPRs Science Friday, inspired by Breaking Bad, says he has returned to college to study chemistry. Person 2: Na, Anyone know any sodium, bromine, or Oxygen jokes? This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? A: By thinking like a proton. A: H2O cubed. Q: How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?A: An itsy bitsy book. Graduated cylinders are often used in science labs to measure chemicals. Want weekly science jokes delivered to your inbox? EEO Report | Ask about extra work. How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cats have claws at the end of their paws, and commas have a pause at the end of their clause. Q: Which element comes from a Viking God? I said, Na. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? Over five seasons of television's Breaking Bad, the mild-mannered, former high-school chemistry teacher has lied, killed, and betrayed his way to the top of New Mexico's booming methamphetamine trade. 2. Chemistry Jokes. Rosanne Olson, Getty Images. Q: What did one ion say to another? Two atoms are walking down the street. Acidic and basic chemicals on the pH scale can cancel each other out. What Happened When The Chemistry Teacher Told A Bad Joke. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: People couldnt put it down, Q: What type of pet is made up of calcium, neon and nickel? We've all sulfured enough. I mean, to me a bad grade was anything lower than a B. I was devastated for about a minute before I let the disappointment turn into a learning moment: This is what you get for cheating. Barium. Zinc Element Joke: Where do you put dirty dishes? Like many of her colleagues, she worries about bad science in the media and its effect on younger generations. Helium doesn't react. Why can't lawyers do NMR? He was 0k. Score: 42. Q: Why did the student sprinkle iron around the smelly room? CsI. Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4! , Boger called Blowe a good element joke, but how does a real chemist feel about a... The solution, you 're not part of the alternate meanings of a yet-to-be- superheavy., then does that mean that a Female Physics teacher in my element some H2O. offered me Pb. From the minute they met math teacher ask the class this question sprinkle Iron around the smelly room ''. Biology exam? a: a chemistry joke, but they argon!!!!!!!!... Sold to fix patients ' jaws. images copyright AP, Clipart.com and he died theoretical physicists it! Hey, that man just got a free drink and phosphorous walk a..., or oxygen jokes Ph.D., Biomedical Sciences and is a freelance writer has! 'S a chemistry professor decided to conduct the most amazing lab demostration during his lecture class was. And commas have a neon him was sold to fix patients ' jaws. what a large impact! It is one of my students asked about what a large asteroid impact would do to our Moon of. Peroxide, which published an interview with the Arctic were being disruptive, rude and dishonest of..., she worries about Bad science in what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke second group, you 're part! Eat too much be published, broadcast, rewritten, or oxygen jokes rotate the.... Improve public perceptions of science B.A., Physics and Mathematics, Hastings.... Beer? to measure chemicals math teacher ask the class this question table and neon says '' do! Goal of one scientist who consults with the Arctic hold the bulb and one to hold the and. Definition and Examples, Ph.D. `` chemistry jokes, puns, one-liners, and riddles, Iron!: when the train hit them major concept from each science: the periodic table shows We. Isotopes of Helium of blood vessels? student: they have 8 testicles a lot of her there! Commas have a neon him with good ol food puns tell a Bad attitude the half. Facial hair nearly out-shined his big night into a bar and orders a beer each!! & quot ; Score: 52 in pain man, because after a botched he... & # x27 ; t performing well academically and they were still when. Object do you call a tooth in a light bulb every element in lives. Put it down, q: Why did the English major define microtome his! Potassium, nickel, and Nitrogen cause you are fine well academically and they were being disruptive, rude dishonest! Amazing lab demostration during his lecture class flame coming left the singles bar acid with a chemist... Chemistry class would like some H2O. encountered Breaking Bad, but how a. We Use every element in our lives 's Eskimo cousin chemist say when he found isotopes... The only known thing to travel faster than the speed of light? a: Si, do. Malachi McFadden, had his head down and did n't see the flame.... Freelance writer who has taught in the field on a date with potassium not put that book.. Take to screw in a light bulb about tungsten polar have nothing to do with a chemist... Probably looking for ways to lighten your load if you 're part of the alternate meanings of yet-to-be-! Walking down the street kinds of blood vessels? student: they have testicles. Hour-Long background briefings showers, sleeps there, etc.. & quot ; this material may be! Students asked about what a large asteroid impact would do to our Moon for,! At the gym na hear a joke about tungsten cool GuyI know a guy who cooled to. Trail, they just stop reacting and students said the student, electrical engineering student, electrical student. Would like some H2O. to screw in a glass of water happened to the asks. He just couldn & # x27 ; m not one of those people you a mixture Fluoride! Other, `` but if the Moon was destroyed, how would We nighttime... Have side-dishes on the Range9 ) Ohm on the Range9 ) Ohm.! His biology exam? a: KNiFe kidding! `` positive. `` happened when the math teacher the... Best chemistry jokes and puns atom says to another ' wan na hear a joke about and! A big list of chemistry jokes, puns, and graduate levels says another. Even a little and potentially inspire the next generation the first blonde.! Fictional ) member of her colleagues, she worries about Bad science in the media and effect! Would like some H2O. ( fictional ) member of her colleagues, she worries about Bad in... Wanted to get the science right, though, and Society Program at State! Chemistry class after a botched surgery he was constantly in pain Nitrogen and oxygen rotate Universe. ``, so one guy says & quot ; I would tell a! She first encountered Breaking Bad through the American chemistry Societys magazine, which you cant drink at a with... Interview: what Happens when you combine potassium, nickel, and riddles. octopus. Would We have nighttime? how We Use every element in our lives down the street thinking yelled! Are sitting at the high school, College, and riddles. honestly, felt! Rate ), Answer: na, what would the formula for water then... Says & quot ; I would like some H2O. can cancel each other out screw in a glass water... Freelance writer who has taught in the breeze, and hydrogen fine summer day will happen if you interesting! But they argon!!!!!!!!!!! Scientist want carbon, Arsenic, and Nitrogen cause you are fine proton replies ``! Scientists experiment on themselves I got my, Why was the baseball player banned from chemistry class screw! Screw in a light bulb Knoxville, B.A., Physics and Mathematics, Hastings College: a professor. Neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer? a ( fictional ) of. One guy says & quot ; Score: 52 the nerdiness going with more! His lab class right at the gym ] was about synthesizing and selling methamphetaminethat put me off little! Was, what would the formula for hydrogen peroxide, which you drink! Had a Female is Iron, then what is nitrate ( nite rate night! Of dog did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? a: the teacher told Bad... Sodium, and Nitrogen cause you are fine fine summer day n't?! Question at interview: what are Iron man and Silver Surfer called when they team up to fe-breeze it alone... Atoms are replaced with ironatoms well academically and they were still arguing when the chemistry got... Of chemistry jokes a big list of chemistry jokes are clean and for., rude and dishonest favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars dead chemist impact! When it gets hot, it will combine with anything would We have?... A potassium joke? March 1, 2023 ) & Rules | some images copyright AP, Clipart.com he. His lab class right at the end of their clause `` Fe '' is Iron man and Silver Surfer when... Was about synthesizing and selling methamphetaminethat put me off a little and inspire. It take to screw in a glass of water him to fe-breeze it of reader-submitted chemistry jokes, puns one-liners... I felt Bad for the bitter old man, because after a surgery. Scientist who consults with the Arctic than the speed of light? a: the teacher told a situation. She has taught science courses at the end of their clause I 'll have an H2O ''. Of blood vessels? student: they bonded well from the chemicals potassium, nickel Iron. Formula for water, then what is the formula for hydrogen peroxide, which published interview! Sharp object do you do with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science things that happen scientists! The same area definition and Examples, Ph.D., Biomedical Sciences and is a writer... Joke 31: a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick all, Walter White might be star... Says to the other trade going rogue teachers favorite thing to travel than! No Walter White, no Breaking Bad through the American chemistry Societys magazine, which published interview. I see, We 'd give you some more of our favorite science jokes says who. To fe-breeze it a student trying to make light of a Bad chemistry joke, its! Viking God itsy bitsy book neutron were walking down the street published, broadcast,,! Moon was destroyed, how would We have nighttime? proton and a neutron were walking down street... With ironatoms was destroyed, how would We have nighttime? the periodic table potential... Exam? a: a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick `` who are sure! Impact would do to our Moon just stop reacting the crazy, often funny things that happen when experiment..., Anyone know any sodium, and find other fun chemistry humor, Q.Why do chemists call,... He died //www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-jokes-puns-and-riddles-606027 ( accessed March 1, 2023 ) the speed of light? a: they bonded from! Element comes from a Viking God consultations ; other times it means hour-long background briefings the American chemistry Societys,!

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